Among the activities held at Mango Town; the adult activities such as Cunnilingus, Fellatio, and Incestuous Gang Bangs, seem to have the highest attendee numbers. Now I do not want to give you the wrong impression, we have many activities for the children too! On any given day, children can take part in games such as:
“I DIDN’T ORDER THAT!”
(A Competition where infants, teens, and young adults streak aimlessly through the lunch buffet trying to knock food off of plates using anything but their hands. The game develops strong cock/boob eye coordination. Truly a game of skill)
“HARASS THE ELDERLY”
(A hysterical event where children seduce then trip, kick, beat, gag, and often defecate on the senior citizens roaming our beautiful Mango Town. This game promotes endurance not just for your children but for the elderly as well. Remember, in Mango Town there is no such thing as mercy for those who cannot feed themselves.)
“SHOOT THE DOG”
(A productive way of having children exert any hate they may have for their parents, teachers, or humanity itself. A group of professors at the School of Psychology – Notre Dame, have studied our experimental practice and have determined that by killing an innocent animal children gain a sense of power which will not only boost their self-esteem but look great on a resume too!!)
“TENNIS”
(Although we do not promote such violent sports as tennis or bumper pool, the NCEBA (National Committee of Extremely Barbarian Activities) insist that we include tennis in our daily routine. This game will not only cause short term blindness and loss of taste, but there have been reports of people dying due to kidney failure and even cases of instant mental retardation. Do not believe the propaganda, it was not a horse that caused Christopher Reeve to become paralyzed but rather a tennis ball to the kneecap. To all who read this BE CAUTIOUS OF YOUR VITAL SIGNS WHILE PLAYING TENNIS AND PLEASE READ THE WAIVER COMPLETELY, Mango Town will not be held responsible for any injuries or diseases you may receive from playing this sport.)
